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| Real life Profect Implicit test results, received on Sept. 1, 2010 by Natalie Alvarez. |
To make a long story short, Project Implicit seems to think I have a moderate preference for whites over blacks and a slight preference for everyone over arabs.
Needless to say, I loath these results. Not because I think they're true, but because I know the aren't.
Someone mentioned in our class yesterday Sept. 1st, that our prejudices have a lot to do with our upbringing. Well, if that's the case, I have no doubt that the results are wrong.
I was born in Washington Heights, NY. Very colorful but humble (and that's an understatement) neighborhood. When I was five years old we moved to Bronx, NY and sometime after that to Yonkers, NY, where I remember most of my upbringing.
Unlike many other places around the world, New York was the opposite when it came to what we wanted to be. I wanted to be black. We all did. Whites, Puerto Ricans, Dominicans, Mexicans and Arabs alike. All the boys I liked in school were black. 50% of my friends were black, the other Hispanics and whites trying to be them. Anyone who was different and didn't listen to rap music or get their hair braided was an outcast. Yes, I got my hair braided regularly.
Obviously, I'm worlds away from that girl I just described. Fast forward ten years and almost everyone I know is Cuban. Nowadays I hear racist remarks that bother me to the core because I still identify with blacks.
So how can those results be accurate?
I mentioned in class that my father probably wouldn't want me to marry a black person. I still feel awful and wish I would've bit my tongue because I feel as though I made him sound like an ogre in a room full of people that don't know him.
Let me start off by explaining the reason for my guilt. My father is mulato. He's a mix of German, Spanish and somewhere along the lines African. He is a high school teacher and part-time college professor in Bronx, NY where he maintains daily contact with blacks. What he sees on a daily basis, especially in his high school students, are poor black kids from guettos that pride themselves in doing drugs, joining gangs and throwing away their education.
That is why he is overjoyed when he has a black student that does his/her work and doesn't get in trouble. He will drop everything to help them.
He was overjoyed when Tiger Woods kept winning golf championships, or when the Williams sisters made it to the top of the Wimbledon tournaments or when President Barack Obama was elected.
But when he's made negative comments about black people, he didn't make them in regards to race alone, but a specific culture of blacks that he's surrounded with and witnesses destroy themselves everyday. Who would want that for their daughter?
Hey Natalie!
ReplyDeleteWell, first off- don't feel bad about anything you voiced aloud in the class regarding the things you see around you that may come off as "racist". I think if anything, Multi-Ethnic Reporting encourages such raw thoughts as a means of proving a point- that we are all in fact a little guilty of imperfect thoughts. I can actually relate to your father's scrutiny (for lack of a better term). My mother has always known the black men in our family and in her circle of friends to be rather promiscuous. LOL- she says they are very affectionate and to watch out for a smooth-talker. However, she loves my father and does not deny this. She said she'd love for me to be open to the idea of dating a white man since she feels white men who date black women have more of a loyalty to us. Don't ask me why- the details behind it are quite quesitonable, but believe it or not- she is not the first woman I know to say this.
Either way- great read and PLEASE keep the honesty coming. We need conversation starters in the class so that others can speak up to!
Thank you so much for your comment Soraya. I love what you told me about your mother, and although it's funny that she tells you that, she actually has a good argument going.
ReplyDeleteStatistics have shown that infidelity among hispanics and black male spouses is soaring high in comparison to white male spouse infidelity. So maybe I should listen to your mom too. LOL Just kidding!